“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.” Ephesians 4:2

I heard of the little boy who was in a relative’s wedding.  As he was coming down the aisle, he would take two steps, stop, turn to the crowd with hands up like claws and “growl.”  So it went: step, step, growl, step, step, growl, all the way down the aisle.  The audience was in tears with laughter.  When asked what he was doing, he replied, “I was being the Ring Bear!”

I think sometimes we are like that little boy, misunderstanding what the Scripture means when it commands us to “bear with one another.”  Some interpret it to mean “act like a bear”—grumpy, grouchy, always growling at near and dear.  I believe there is no clearer explanation of what it means to “bear with one another” than in Paul’s Letter to the Colossians:

“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly beloved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another.  Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”  Colossians 3:12-13

There are several very important words in verse 12—compassions, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.  However, the key word is patience.  The King James Version uses the word “longsuffering,” and it is listed as one of the Fruit of the Spirit in Galatians 5:25. 

To “bear with one another” then means being patient with each other’s weaknesses.  Not one of us is perfect.  All of us fail, particularly in human relationships.  How easy it is to expect more from other Christians than we expect from ourselves!  Nowhere is this truer than within our families.  In this setting we live together day after day, week after week, year after year.  We see each other at our best and at our worst—both as parents and children, husbands and wives.

The same is true of our extended family—the family of God. 

Probably the greatest challenge we face as married people is to bear with one another’s weaknesses.  It is at this level that we get to know each other in ways that other people don’t.  Unfortunately, some couples don’t learn to communicate with each other regarding the things that irritate them.  Sometimes these begin as little things that mushroom into gigantic problems.  Open and clear communication is absolutely essential to enable us to “bear with one another in love.”

Parents face the same problem with children—only to a greater degree.  Unfortunately, small children are naturally self-centered until they reach a certain level of maturity.  As parents, we must be very careful not to expect too much from small children.  If we do, we will only frustrate them and create anger and resentment.  That is why Paul wrote, “Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged” (Colossians 3:21).

Another key word in “bearing with one another” is forgiveness.  Bearing with one another and having a forgiving spirit are synonymous in God’s sight.  Note Paul’s strong words: “Forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another.”  Some Christians carry grudges for years.  What a miserable way to live.  How out of character for a follower of Jesus Christ.

Immediately following Paul’s exhortation to “be patient, bearing with one another in love,” he says “Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace” (Ephesians 4:2-3).  Patience, forbearance and forgiveness are not automatic actions that follow receiving

Christ as Saviour.  They are deliberate acts of the will.  Every person I know who has an unforgiving spirit chooses to do so.  Dear brother, dear sister—it is your choice today.

“Let us bear with one another in love.”